This week has been all about one book: Captain America #600.

However, we already know it was a damp squib, so we’ll save a review until later on and instead focus on something we actually find interesting this week. And if you’re me, that’s X-Men: Legacy #225.

After wrapping up the storyline featuring Rogue and Danger, which went on slightly too long but gave welcome resolution to a couple of ongoing X-Men plots at the same time, Carey brings the book full circle and takes us back to Xavier and the Acolytes. The last time we saw them, Xavier was leaving after turning down a leadership role. This time, he’s coming back to finish the job of dismantling them once and for all.

The opening sequence features some typically inventive uses of Xavier’s powers.  It’s been a while since anyone did anything with one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet other than have him speak into people’s brains, so in X-Men Legacy, Carey has taken delight in showcasing other uses for the power, from a traditional battle on the astral plane, to co-option of the available fauna, to this issue’s all-out mental assault on the Acolytes, who are left reeling from an attack conducted on various levels. It’s an enjoyable start to the issue, and it’s a pity the rest of it slows down somewhat.

Artist Phil Briones isn’t given much material to work with throughout the issue, and after the opening sequence there’s a fair amount of talking heads. At least one squence is hard to decipher (A post-hypnotic suggestion causes Random to, er, something) and the best moments tend to come when he is allowed to illustrate the group fights between the X-Men and various warring factions, rather than the dull, featureless Acolyte base.

If Carey’s good at anything, it’s giving the status quo enough of a push that there becomes room for some new stories. That, if anything, is the consequence of the story arcs on Legacy, and this one is no different. The idea of a few former Acolytes joining the X-Men in San Francisco is an intriguing one, so hopefully Carey (or Fraction) will pick up on it – although it’s fair to say the really big moment in the issue the ending tie-in to Dark X-Men. It feels odd saying it, but if that team goes the way I’m thinking it will, perhaps this issue should’ve had a Dark Reign banner on it?

As an arc, American Son has done a lot to bring Spidey back in line with the rest of the Marvel Universe. Incorporating the Dark Avengers and the events of Dark Reign is an obvious choice for the spider-titles, given the history he has with some of the characters involved, and the relationship between Norman and Harry Osborn is one of the best dynamics in the Marvel Universe – at least, during the times when they’re both alive.

Something never really rang true about Peter’s successful attempt to infiltrate the Dark Avengers, so it’s good to see the matter being addressed by Kelly in a way that makes the team a credible threat. It’s good craftsmanship to answer such questions in the story, and indeed, Kelly’s even goes so far as to set up the cliffhanger early on – more work than most would put into an individual issue. As far as ending’s go, it’s one that can never really work as a credible threat – it’s highly unlikely the next issue’s going to open with Peter’s brains blown across the floor, for example – but what we see on panel is interesting enough that I want to find out how he’s going to get out of it, which is about as much as you can do, in comics.

The issue is littered with decent scenes, from Peter’s right with Daken, to Osborn “testing” Spider-Man by allowing one of his mutated Goblin/Super-Soldiers to attack him. The subplots bubble under nicely, givng us JJJ Snr. and May’s wedding plans and the further development of Lily and Harry’s already complicated relationship. It’s good to see the supporting cast get as much focus as Peter himself is often afforded, and it’s stories like this, that break new ground while adhering to the classic Spider-Man framework, that justify the book’s current direction.

Marco Checchuto isn’t an artist whose name I recognise, but his Jiminez-style pencils gel well with the style of the book. A cursory google reveals a few Marvel books to his name, but it’s a sign of (well-placed) confidence that Marvel have happily put him on a fairly high-profile event story like this one. The title’s not quite matching the early glory days when artists like McNiven and Bachalo were queueing up to draw it, but if all the new pencillers are this competent then it’s not too much of a worry that those days are over.

What is there that’s left to say about Ultimatum? My opinion of the comic can be summed up in two words: It’s bad. Or, if you like: REALLY Bad. But then, you knew that, right? No-one with an ounce of sense could possibly be under the delusion that it’s anything other than terrible. Frankly, if you like this comic, and you are not Jeph Loeb and not related to Jeph Loeb, then you have no excuse for any other opinion.

The thing is, after 4 issues of this utter, utter garbage, I’m far beyond hating it. I no longer have the energy. And these are the reasons why:

1. Loeb barely acknowledges that the Ultimate Universe exists. The Ultimate Hulk is acting like the Marvel Universe Hulk. Ultimate Dr. Strange is acting like the Marvel Universe Dr. Strange. Does he even know what he’s writing? He certainly doesn’t seem to care about it, after all.

2. Angel dies. Doctor Strange dies. Both suffer a gory and gratuitous on-panel death. The Ultimate version of Strange was barely established, and now he’s dead. Are we supposed to care? What’s the point? Spider-Man also “dies”, and aside from the fact that the Kitty is shown discovering Peter’s mask in scenes that contradict Ultimate Spider-Man, the differences in the quality of the writing on the Ultimate titles becomes starkly evident. Bendis devotes a silent issue devoted to showing the tragic loss inflicted by Spidey’s “death”. Loeb has Wolverine turn up and go “SPIDER-MAN IS DEAD?” in about the least elegant possible way. I’m aware the contexts are different, but really, this level of subtlety would insult B-movie writers.

3. Ultimate Nick Fury uses the word “bungholes.” I’m going to spell that for you just to emphasis how stupid it is. B-U-N-G-H-O-L-E-S.

4. Magneto gets his arm cut off. Not only is he somehow unable to prevent this, despite the fact it’s done with a METAL sword, but he manages to keep fighting and delivering biblical monologues afterwards.

Reading a comic like this doesn’t just upset me. It causes me to lose all faith in the industry. Children’s cartoons are written with more care and attention than this. You could take the most gibbering, ridiculous fanboy off the Internet and have them write up their most demented Jubilee Vs. Galactus fantasy script and you’d come up with a better story than this. And yet Marvel are not only paying Loeb to write this, they’re actually allowing it to be drawn and sold as a real comic. Why? Why?

The real question is – who’s buying this? I know I didn’t. Is it you? Is it one of your friends? And if so, why? Why do you hate comics? Ultimatum is, without any hyperbole, one of the worst comics I’ve ever read – and the only reason it’s not the worst is because Loeb also wrote Ultimates 3 and Onslaught Reborn and somehow, they manage to be slightly worse.

Brian Michael Bendis, Twitter, 5th June : “again, i have to say. there’s two double sized issues of USM to go. it’s not the last issue of this volume. it does not say final issue.”

See, there you go. You fools, thinking this was the last issue of Ultimate Spider-Man just because it’s… the last issue of Ultimate Spider-Man! That’ll learn yer! Because the intelligent decision-making that has informed the Ultimate imprint over the last couple of years has now led to a situation where its flagship title, the one that started the whole thing in the first place and which has remained one of the most consistently excellent superhero books (if not the most consistently excellent superhero book) of almost an entire decade, doesn’t even get to have its final issue be its final issue. Instead, the pieces will be picked up in a two-part spinoff mini that pointlessly has the word “Requiem” tacked onto its title, and its events are entirely influenced by the writing of a deranged lunatic. There are no words.

And funnily enough, in the last issue of Ultimate Spider-Man… there are no words. As the recap page states, “This is a SILENT issue”. I’m almost disappointed they didn’t put “‘NUFF SAID!” on the cover, for old times’ sake. It’s actually a surprisingly appropriate step, mind, for an issue that doesn’t feature its lead character – and in this series in particular, the lead character has always been a window into the book’s world, a grounded (despite his extraordinary powers) point of identifiability – although I wish that fact had been flagged up sooner, because if UltiPeter really is dead (and I don’t believe he is, or at least that he won’t be resurrected along with a bunch of other people, but the book is making out like it’s pretty final, so let’s play along), then the end of issue #132 was one of the most flat and unheralded “important” moments in recent comics. It’s therefore unexpected to be confronted with a contemplative coda, rather than the actual climax to the series, which has apparently already been and gone.

Still, this is nice – Bendis constructs the issue well, and knows he can rely on Immonen to successfully convey character and emotion through the art – indeed, there’s arguably more done with Jessica Drew here than at any other point, with a genuinely touching moment as, discovering that Kitty Pryde is alive, and momentarily unaware that the memory of her isn’t her own, she joyously hugs her only to be phased through. Elsewhere, this is about quietly contemplating a world without Spider-Man in it – and so we see Kitty and Jessica sombrely carrying out the sort of post-disaster search and rescue that we should be watching Peter do. Preparation for Jessica replacing him in the costume? It’s hard to tell, but it would be a genuine shame if the character’s to be wrenched away from us so suddenly. It’s also curious that so little focus is given here to the reactions of Mary Jane and Aunt May – but I’d imagine we’ll see that in Requiem. Even so, it at least takes pains to point out the actual human cost of the havoc wreaked by Ultimatum, which is good, since it’s something Loeb has been singularly refusing to do in the main series.

As with so many recent issues of this title, though, it’s hard to know how to really approach it until we’ve got the wider context of where the series goes from here. If this really is the end of USM as we know it? It’s inadequate, frankly. Anything that Requiem does in terms of wrapping up and celebrating the character (again, working on the “he’s actually dead” assumption – but come on, we’re in clear No Body Rule territory here) may help, but even then, I’m affronted that it’s not being done in actual issues of the actual series. Just as I’m affronted that Stuart Immonen, having come in and done such a fantastic job in the wake of the apparently irreplacable Mark Bagley, ended up getting such a short run. And affronted that such a superb comic is ending as a result of, of all things, the brain-clawing awfulness of Ultimatum. This book deserves better, Ultimate Peter Parker deserves better, and the readers deserve better.

The first, and indeed, most probably last annual-sized outing for Captain Britain and MI-13 sees Cornell doing a rare and welcome thing with the format, following up a previous story while springboarding another one out of it. It’s always a welcome effort when the stories in annuals feel relevant – after all, they cost a lot, and there’s ample space for a story, so why not tell one that’s actually special? Cornell, at least, gets that, using this annual to deliver two memorable tales. The first re-introduces Meggan, Cap’s oft-absent wife, and the second doing a new spin on Claremont’s old X-Men baseball games as the Brits gather round for – of course – a spot of cricket.

Now, that aside, this is actually one of the weakest MI-13 stories to date. Re-introducing Meggan means giving us her life story, and the recap is tied-in with her current attempts to get out of Hell, where she’s been trapped following her encounter with Plotka. The flashback and present events don’t mesh particularly well, and the explanation of Meggan’s powers and personality don’t come across well – at least for some like me, who is almost entirely unfamiliar with the character. It’s hard to believe that her presence in Hell could be so effective, and nothing in the book convincingly explains why it should be. The story does end with an effective twist and an unlikely yet appropriate guest star, but the cliffhanger ending doesn’t feel particularly satisfying – Collins’ art is the only part of the strip that really delights.

The next story is a tad better, as the MI-13 crew indulge in a spot of cricket. It’s light and throaway, the characterisation comes through and Cornell even works in the phrase “weak lemon drink” in a move guaranteed to delight about 6 people worldwide, three of whom write for this website. The thing that prevents the story from being really good is Alphona’s artwork. Characters are misshapen and distended in a way that defies mere considerations of stylistics, becoming outright ugly. Worse yet, done up in cricket garb, it’s hard to even see who some characters are.

So, between two rather weak stories, we’ve actually ended up with the worst Captain Britain issue since the series restarted. A pity, given that it’s also the most expensive. The annual’s heart is in the right place, but sadly, it’s ultimately hard to recommend due to its technical failings.

Given the criticism that this arc of the New Avengers has attracted, I expected to find myself in a minority when it came to this issue, as I’m fond of a number of the elements on show here. While I’d still maintain that the book’s receiving some unnecessary stick at the moment, I do find myself unexpectedly in agreement with a general complaint about recent comics, and one that I previously thought I’d remain detached from.

The hunt for Doctor Strange’s successor isn’t going well, with the Avengers still one step behind the Hood in perusing the new sorcerer supreme. Strange is out of his depth in these circumstances, but a number of events fortunately giving away the location of Robins’ target. Despite the criticism that Billy Tan’s art has attracted, his style here manages to successfully convey the nighttime setting without loosing any clarity from events. His talent for action sequences serves him well here, with the silhouetted fight between Spider-Woman and Madame Masque being particularly striking. Brian Bendis also goes to some lengths to avoid the issue being pure combat, with effort taken to show Strange as being out of his depth and a welcome continuation of the fallout from Peter Parker’s unmasking and its effect on Luke Cage. Although readers of this arc alone might be rather nonplussed by the cliffhanger, the character that appears was used in the book not too long ago, and provides a welcome twist to the plot.

In summary, this is a book of quality, and a reader who has never been that intrigued by the Thunderbolts concept, it presently appeals to me the most of the three Avengers titles on the market. The general complaint that I mentioned is one of price. It may be old news, but at the time I wasn’t too concerned about the raising of the entry charge for many of Marvel’s books to $3:99. The difference seemed minimal, and wasn’t enough to deter me from any of the books I picked up regularly. New Avengers #53 is a solid comic, but not the sort of exceptional venture that I’d find myself willing to hand over £3:15 to read, when I could be getter better value for money from another title. I’ve no particular attachment to any of the characters here, and I can experience better work from this writer elsewhere. If this price rise becomes permanent, I can now see the reason for concern about the behaviour of “casual” readers.